Fear

I’ve long pondered what the subject of my first personal post would be. Would it be about design, youth entrepreneurship or perhaps even something cultural? But they say you should write what you know. So I’ve decided to take a stab at what it seems I’ve come to know best.

 

Fear.

 

I’d like to say that courage, nonconformity, and determination have been my driving force, but, frankly, that would be a lie. I’m not self-deprecating, no. My efforts have paid off, in some regards. Yet, nothing has played a role quite as significant as fear has.

 

I’ve watched relationships fall apart. Not because of some dramatic, short-story worthy event, but simply because fear has withdrawn me from them, forced me to helplessly watch those I knew fade.

 

I’ve simply let opportunity run by, too afraid to take a chance. Everything was a risk not worth taking. Comfort was in the stagnation of the status quo, a refuge for cowardice. Whether in business endeavours or in personal matters, others have run by while I remain on the sidelines. I see others who took the very same chance and plunged into the unknown. Those who have tried help me along, but their help I refused.

 

I’ve bought the latest clothes, changed appearances, not because I lust for your approval, but because I fear your disapproval.

 

I’ve exuded confidence, put up a façade of courage and stoicism because I fear you’ll realise I’m just a fake. That behind the seeming daringness lie empty dreams and weighty fears.

 

I’ve lived a lie, pushed down desires, hopes, and dreams till there was nothing left because I’m afraid. I’m afraid to fight for what I want, afraid — sure — that I’ll hurt those I hold dear and be condemned to their rage. Afraid that I’ll be alone with nothing left. Afraid that I won’t make it.

 

Fear is a nasty and sly thing, quietly destroying anything and everything — this I know well. Fear forces you to perceive every opportunity as a risk not worth taking. There are benefits to staying in the comfort of the status quo, in the predictabilities of the known, it convinces you.

 

Confronting fear is difficult, it’s a battle I figure I’ll be fighting for the rest of my life. Every opportunity has its risks and you’ll definitely screw up a few times. But it’s important to remember that there is also the chance that you’ll succeed. Plunging into the unknown is against our nature, but, to truly progress, you sometimes have to just dive in headfirst. I know there are plenty of people out there who are weighed down by their fears, I’m hoping we all fight a successful battle.

A Million Miles

So much time has passed,
There’s so much that I’ve missed,
So much I don’t even know about.
But you can’t take back
What you didn’t say.

There’s a million miles,
Oceans and lands between us.
But the chains,
they only drag along

How will I escape?
When will I escape?
Will I escape?

The roses have died,
The memories fade.
I used to sit in the dark,
Cry into the veil of the night.
Now I lie in the dark,
In the pale moonlight
Staring at the stars.
The dreams are gone,
The future is bleak,
The sun has set long ago.

For there’s a million miles,
Ocean and lands between us.
But the chains,
They only drag along.

How will I escape?
When will I escape?
Will I escape?
But who am I
To undermine eternity.

There is a Place…

Giant beasts of iron standing tall,
As if they’ll never fall
Casting a shadow so immense,
Eclipsing the once great red sun
Heavenward the colour has gone,
Naturality long foregone.
There is no sleep, no quiet here.
For the light of a million men never dims.

Behold! There is a place,
Where you can embrace nature’s grace.
Here the sun breaks upon the horizon,
Painting a brilliant tangerine sky.
And liquid mirrors reflect,
A face so perfect.
Carpets of rich green roll far and wide,
And rivers run and disappear.

White-tipped castles of stone protrude brilliantly,
Soaring into the azure of infinity
Crowned by their Clouds of Glory,
Carved by the waters of a million years.
Ever older and restless, yet ever more majestic.
Like the wise senex long tested.
From their crown see valleys cut deep into the earth below
And fields embellished with a million daisies spread as far as the eye can see.
It is beauty a thousand London’s could not duplicate.
Colours no artist with mere paint could ever create.

Soon, night falls,
And reveals the wonders of the cosmos.
A million twinkling lights,
Yet not a soul in sight.
And out of the black veil of night,
The white powder falls
Onto the glittering horizon
Hushing it into its blanket of diamond.